Ultraviolet
Ultraviolet.
Wow. Ultracrappy. Ultrastupid. Ultrabad.
Seriously, this film sucks. Sucks a lot. Sucks without anything good going for it at all.
Not a good story, not a good director, not a good actor, actress, editor, special effect, musical score, credit sequence. Nothing.
One might think it can't be all bad because you get to watch Milla. One would be wrong.
Milla was filmed, or post-production edited with a very soft focus effect. You don't see her, you see an impression of her.
The plot is incomprehensible. For some reason, a virus affects a portion of the population of the future. It's got something to do with blood. Other than giving them pointy teeth, and making them vaguely vampirish, there don't seem to be any other side effects. For this reason, the uninfected portion of the population has given full control of the their military and government to one man who heads a militant version of the Red Cross or World Health Organization.
The whole situation can be summarized as a "we'll kill them before they kill us" situation. A poor excuse for boring action sequences that are usually over before they start. Milla flips her hair and tilts her neck and a dozen bad guys lay dead.
This clever person has apparently decided the soldier of the future should wear glass armour (yes, glass armor that shatters when Milla kicks them), carry swords (yes, swords) that they're apparently not trained to use, and guns that they're also apparently not trained to use. Honestly, Milla kills dozens and dozens of these poor, stupid soldiers without even a single scratch on her lovely soft-focus skin. In fact, not only does she kill them all, she's very efficient at killing them all while spinning, spinning, jumping, spinning and flipping so they don't even land a blow.
The most effective offense and defense against the soldier of the future is non-stop spinning and jumping.
In my 15+ years of watching 50+ films a year (Math says 750+ films) in the theatre, I've never seen one by myself until tonight. I'm happy none of my friends or family were subjected to the pain and confusion I paid to see tonight.
It's not the worst film I've ever seen but I'm still giving it zero of five rating units.
It's not even worth seeing for camp, or irony. It's just bad. Very bad.
Wow. Ultracrappy. Ultrastupid. Ultrabad.
Seriously, this film sucks. Sucks a lot. Sucks without anything good going for it at all.
Not a good story, not a good director, not a good actor, actress, editor, special effect, musical score, credit sequence. Nothing.
One might think it can't be all bad because you get to watch Milla. One would be wrong.
Milla was filmed, or post-production edited with a very soft focus effect. You don't see her, you see an impression of her.
The plot is incomprehensible. For some reason, a virus affects a portion of the population of the future. It's got something to do with blood. Other than giving them pointy teeth, and making them vaguely vampirish, there don't seem to be any other side effects. For this reason, the uninfected portion of the population has given full control of the their military and government to one man who heads a militant version of the Red Cross or World Health Organization.
The whole situation can be summarized as a "we'll kill them before they kill us" situation. A poor excuse for boring action sequences that are usually over before they start. Milla flips her hair and tilts her neck and a dozen bad guys lay dead.
This clever person has apparently decided the soldier of the future should wear glass armour (yes, glass armor that shatters when Milla kicks them), carry swords (yes, swords) that they're apparently not trained to use, and guns that they're also apparently not trained to use. Honestly, Milla kills dozens and dozens of these poor, stupid soldiers without even a single scratch on her lovely soft-focus skin. In fact, not only does she kill them all, she's very efficient at killing them all while spinning, spinning, jumping, spinning and flipping so they don't even land a blow.
The most effective offense and defense against the soldier of the future is non-stop spinning and jumping.
In my 15+ years of watching 50+ films a year (Math says 750+ films) in the theatre, I've never seen one by myself until tonight. I'm happy none of my friends or family were subjected to the pain and confusion I paid to see tonight.
It's not the worst film I've ever seen but I'm still giving it zero of five rating units.
It's not even worth seeing for camp, or irony. It's just bad. Very bad.
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