Death in the Family

It seems my smallish family is getting even smaller. Three times in the last month, I have received emails from lawyers informing me that a distant relative, who was a national of my country, died along with their wife and child in a tragic car crash while working in Nigeria.

Here's the latest letter. I'm still a little broken up about the death of the previous two, so this one is especially hard to take.

ATTN:McCaesar, I am barrister Markus umeh a solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney to Mr. Morie McCaesar,a national of your country, who used to work with an indeginous company here in Nigeria, Here in after shall be referred to as my client.

On the 16th of August 2003,my client, his wife And their three children were involved in a car accident along Badagry Expressway, All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost there lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to locate any of my clients extended relatives,this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.

I have contacted you to assist in repatriating the money and property left behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where these huge deposits were lodged. Particularly, the Access Bank of Nigeria Plc where the deceased had an account valued at about [$10,586,068.00 dollars] has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the funds confiscated within the next ten official working days.

Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over a year. Now I Seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased since you have the same last name so that the proceeds of this account valued at [ $10,586,068.00 dollars] can be paid to you and then you andI can share the money 50% 50%.

I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we shall make. All I require is your honest co-operation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee you that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

PLEASE ON YOUR REPLY.DO SEND ME YOUR FULL NAME AND ADDRESS PRIVATE TEL/MOBILE/FAX NUMBER INCLUDING YOUR COUNTRY CODE. PLEASE REPLY THROUGH MYPRIVATE EMAIL: markusumeh115@myway.com

I hope to hear from you soon.

Regards, Barrister Markus umeh.

To have so many exceedingly wealthy members of my extended family die in the exact same manner, on different expressways in Nigeria is truly shocking.

I am thankful for the generosity of Mr. Markus umeh. In his letter, he offers to split the proceeds of the $10 million with me 50/50. The other thieving barristers were only going to give me 40% of the $10 million dollars with 10% going for administrative fees.

Laws in Nigeria must be very lax indeed to allow lawyers to collect half of an estate where there is no will, and where anyone who merely shares the same last name as the deceased is able to collect such an inheritance.

I am convinced this must be genuine. The circumstances are far too similar to be coincidence. Perhaps there is an international conspiracy to murder my rich relatives working in Nigeria? After all, each lawyer who has contacted me so far has all the "necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we shall make."

Next time I post, I think I shall be a millionaire.

p.s. I changed my real last name in the email to "McCaesar" because I thought it would be funny,